No one wants to find that they are not a priority in their romantic relationships. It is a hard realization to come to, and many people tend to ignore the signs that they are not a priority by rationalizing them away. Indeed, some of these signs can be rationalized, but when a significant other is presenting with more than a few, it may be time to reassess the relationship. Here are fifteen signs that you’re an option in a relationship, not a priority:
1. The other person never wants to make plans in advance.
2. You make all the concessions in the relationship– if it can be called a relationship.
3. It feels like you’re always waiting on them, but they never wait on you– if you ask them to wait, they bail.
4. They are seeing other people and make it known that you are not the only one– or even the most important one.
5. All of your interaction happens behind closed doors: there are never date nights or outings.
6. When you get fed up, they reel you back in with sweet words and everything you want to hear, but then quickly return to old behaviors.
7. Your calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, SnapChats, and so on all go unanswered. In this day and age, almost everyone is constantly attached to their phone– you know they saw it and chose not to respond.
8. You feel taken advantage of. This is important, because intuition is often correct, and when it feels like someone doesn’t care, it is because they are not expending the effort to show you that they care.
9. There are always excuses regarding why you can’t be together: if someone wants a relationship with you, they’ll find a way. Excuses mean a lack of investment and often a lack of mutual interest.
10. They never seem to show any interest in your life or the things that you do on a daily basis. When you do talk about things, they tend not to remember.
11. You catch them lying to you about seemingly insignificant things. It’s rare that these things are actually insignificant– more often than not, they are quite significant.
12. You feel like they’re bored when they’re around you.
13. They act secretive and suspicious, like they’re constantly hiding something.
14. They have no understanding about things that are important to you, and often miss big events for their own plans, sometimes canceling at the last minute.
15. The person makes you feel bad, depressed, or unhappy more than they make you feel happy.
Everyone makes mistakes in relationships, but learning how to see when it is time to let go because of a lack of mutuality is an important life lesson to learn. These signs– especially when more than three or four are present– are good red flags that indicate when it might be time to let the relationship go.